I recently discovered tools to let me "just be" with people. I have heard many terms to describe this; presence, being, living in the moment. I liked the idea of being able to be very aware and suspending the constant judging voice in my head. At first I was glad to have another technique for effective communication with others. I didn't realize the profound effect it would have on the relationship with my daughter.
I discovered this one afternoon, on a "daddy daughter date", as she danced around a tea shop while we waited for our order. We had just had her favorite meal, sushi, because that's what the average 6 year old loves to eat. She was showing me her recent dance routine. For the first time in her life, I was able to just be with her. The best way I can describe it would be to say that I was ultra-focused on her and what she was doing. I wasn't just watching her while my mind ran through random thoughts of the things I needed to check off my list for the day.
I watched her with a quiet mind. I watched her face as she danced, the way she moved around the floor. There were no other distracting thoughts in my head about trivial things. I was able to be with her and enjoy the moment. I felt so engaged and present to her and the happiness she felt while showing me her dance. I could even tell that she knew how much I was paying attention. She was as focused on me as I was on her. I equate it to the feeling I had on the moment she was born. There was no judgement, no thoughts about yesterday or tomorrow. I was in that moment and nothing else mattered.
I am excited for the new possibility I created of being amazing in my relationship with my daughter. I look for opportunities to experience more moments like that with her. Those moments are becoming more frequent and last longer each time they occur. I am always looking to create more moments of clarity. .